I bought a one month rock climbing Groupon and recently cashed it in. It was one of those deals that you could do with a friend... although you could have also used both monthly passes for yourself. I decided to use it with a friend for the cost sharing benefits. Little did I know (or maybe deep down I knew all along) that although I saved some money, I lost a part of my friendship.
This particular friendship has been rocky for quite some time. We have known each other for more than half our lives, so for many years. As we got older and went off to colleges in different states I felt our friendship did get better, though mainly because it's hard to tire of a person you never see. However, after college we went back to living in our hometown together and our friendship slowly became strained. From my perspective it has been due to unfair demands on me by this friend. Everyone has their own perspective and I'm sure my friend's would differ. After a recent tiff, given everything else going on in my life (from preparing a manuscript for publication, working on my dissertation, spending time with family, the boyfriend, other friends, to making time for myself and my own personal goals) I just ran out of patience and understanding for someone who had shown so little understanding and consideration for me.
Our friendship has definitely suffered, at least on my end, to the point where what little trust I had, which is kind of needed when someone is holding a cable, the only thing keeping you from falling to the floor, is now gone. I don't even particularly care to talk about my everyday life with my friend. Where once I felt a sense of camaraderie now is emptiness. The I got to thinking. How much longer will our friendship last? I see this friend quite often as we live near by but it's not, and has not been for quite sometime, a real friendship in my heart. There are many friends I see only a few times a year or even yearly and feel a greater connection to. This thought made me sad but at the same time I was indifferent. I'm not quite sure how to explain it. I was sad that it had come to this, I suppose. But I was indifferent in losing a friend, so to speak.
This lack of trust is not entirely negative. I have found it to be quite freeing at the same time. When you no longer trust someone you also no longer feel the need to be polite or indirect with them and can more easily assert your own needs without any feelings of guilt or inequality.
This particular friendship has been rocky for quite some time. We have known each other for more than half our lives, so for many years. As we got older and went off to colleges in different states I felt our friendship did get better, though mainly because it's hard to tire of a person you never see. However, after college we went back to living in our hometown together and our friendship slowly became strained. From my perspective it has been due to unfair demands on me by this friend. Everyone has their own perspective and I'm sure my friend's would differ. After a recent tiff, given everything else going on in my life (from preparing a manuscript for publication, working on my dissertation, spending time with family, the boyfriend, other friends, to making time for myself and my own personal goals) I just ran out of patience and understanding for someone who had shown so little understanding and consideration for me.
Our friendship has definitely suffered, at least on my end, to the point where what little trust I had, which is kind of needed when someone is holding a cable, the only thing keeping you from falling to the floor, is now gone. I don't even particularly care to talk about my everyday life with my friend. Where once I felt a sense of camaraderie now is emptiness. The I got to thinking. How much longer will our friendship last? I see this friend quite often as we live near by but it's not, and has not been for quite sometime, a real friendship in my heart. There are many friends I see only a few times a year or even yearly and feel a greater connection to. This thought made me sad but at the same time I was indifferent. I'm not quite sure how to explain it. I was sad that it had come to this, I suppose. But I was indifferent in losing a friend, so to speak.
This lack of trust is not entirely negative. I have found it to be quite freeing at the same time. When you no longer trust someone you also no longer feel the need to be polite or indirect with them and can more easily assert your own needs without any feelings of guilt or inequality.
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